Liz from Idaho

Liz had the following to say in this thread, which has now been closed. That thread was closed, and I wanted to comment/question, so I'm reposting here =)

you know, reading these posts, I get the feeling that nothing is really said except "lets all be nice to each other and keep the peace". Which isn't what Jesus taught. At all. Jesus taught that standing up for the truth will make you enemies sometimes.

You are comparing different types of statements. Which is to say that "Let's be nice to each other and try to keep the peace" is not antithetical to "Standing up for the truth will make you enemies sometimes"

I think what you mean to say was that Jesus taught that "If one is put into a situation where one must make such a choice, then it's more important to 'stand up for the truth' than it is to 'be nice and try to keep the peace'." Am I getting that right?

I'm wondering if you could describe such a situation--where we must either be kind or be truthful. Cause I don't really buy it.

And it is interesting that the folks who don't want division over homosexuality have no problem creating it around other issues (the war for example or anything else they don't deem as "progressive")

Which folks are those? If by "division" you mean strife (and by implication violence), then I don't want division over homosexuality, nor over the war, etc. In fact I'd prefer kindness over violence on any of a range of issues, ideally.

I did a lot of googling after I read this thread last night. One of the sites critiquing the emerging church makes an enormously significant point. And that is that NO ONE has ever said that love and compassion for the homosexual go hand in hand with manipulating scripture to suddenly make their sin "OK". My point in bringing in other disorders was to perhaps draw a comparison to similar, if not identical situations. I know a lot of people who do some serious jail ministry. I am not talking about people who have smoked a little pot and are now cooling their heels. I am talking about people who have committed some really really horrible crimes against humanity. Yet, those who go into the prisons to love on these people and lead them to Christ are not saying...awww..gee...I love you so it's not a sin. It is PRECISELY because that love is Christian that it loves anyone and everyone NO MATTER WHAT THEIR SIN. But it doesn't dismiss the sin. When it comes to homosexuality though, there seems to be a very vocal contingent in the church that confuses loving with redefining sin to no longer be sin.

Why do you allow for the fact that some (most) people in prison are there for things that aren't really bad, like smoking some pot, while other people who are in prison are there for things that *are* really bad, like raping small children, but you *don't* allow for the fact that some (most) people who are homosexual are really rather nice people who haven't ever really done anything hurtful to other people beyond the normal things that all people do to each other, while other people who are homosexual have done really shockingly hurtful things to other people. I mean to say there are both homosexual and heterosexual really evil people, but most people don't fall into the category of really evil people, no matter what their sexual orientation.

As for DSM IV: I really do not put a whole lot of stock in the categories. Homosexuality has been removed due to extreme political pressure from gay rights groups.

While there is some truth to this, it is helpful to put it into context. The writing of every new version and every new text revision of DSM takes place by its very nature in an atmosphere of what might be called "extreme political pressure" over nearly *every* change that takes place, if for no other reason than the fact that a lot of money rides on which changes do or don't get made, and how they get made, and so forth. DSM 5 is currently being written, and it's the same deal--this group wants this in, and that group wants that out, but this other group doesn't, and so forth.

I brought up some examples from DSM such as sociopathy and BPD merely to point out that there are a number of conditions that leave secular shrinks shrugging their shoulders with no answers. The fact that these people don't respond well to traditional treatments and don't change very much doesn't cause their condition to be reclassified as "good". Homosexuality comes in for all sorts of special treatment both from secularists and "affirming" churches. The same people who would continue to love on a drug addict through relapse after relapse, all the while seeing getting clean as a goal; seem to have no difficulty treating homosexuality in a totally different manner. To love the struggler is to call their sin good when it comes to homosexuality.

Again I don't understand why you have to insist on such a large category when it comes to homosexuality, but not when it comes to other behaviors. Clearly if their homosexual behavior is causing them more problems than is desirable to them and those who love them, a person would want to stop such behavior. Just as with psychoactive drug use (including alcohol). But you seem to be insisting that *all* homosexuals fall into this category, whereas I imagine you would *not* insist that all psychoactive drug users fall into this category. There's obviously a line somewhere. For instance, I drink caffeine all the time--a psychoactive drug by anyone's description. It isn't causing me any big problems at all. I also drink alcohol socially. That also isn't causing me any big problems. While I don't smoke pot, I have friends who do, and it isn't causing them any big problems. However, there *are* those who have problems with alcohol, and pot, and even caffeine. But I think the best person to *know* whether a drug is causing them a problem is the user. Beyond that, for you or me to make blanket statements about *where* the line sits is silly. "All alcohol users are alcoholics" is silly on it's face, and "Anybody who drinks more than 5 standard shots at one sitting is an alcoholic" is tending to silliness.

But you seem to be doing this sort of thing for homosexuality: "Anybody who has homosexual intercourse has a huge problem which we shouldn't dismiss." or something like that. Am I mishearing you? Because that seems either silly or arrogant or both.

Many many people who secular shrinks would write off as "hopeless" have been cured by God. why should homosexuality be any different?

There it is again--the implication that all homosexuality is so problematic that many secular shrinks would write it off as "hopeless".

Part of the problem with ex gay ministries is they are so freaking formulaic. The people I know who have had real lasting change almost invariably did it on their own, seeing counselors, applying principles from other recovery programs to their issues and simply asking GOD for wisdom instead of trying yet another workbook that is the thinking of man rather than the wisdom of God.

I hear you, sort of. As a recovering person myself, however, I've found that lots of parts of "the wisdom of man" have been extremely helpful to me. "Formulaic" has it's advantages and it's drawbacks, as do most things. My experience is that large chunks of the church can be so anti-formulaic and anti thinking-of-man that they would deny the person in recovery access to stuff that is actually pretty helpful. But you're right in that the eclectic approach to recovery can be a great one--take what works for you from a variety of sources. Just getting plugged into a variety of sources/resources is a helpful step, as I'm sure you know.

As for what DSM classifies as disorders, while they were busy normalizing homosexuality, they also made "math impairment disability" an official diagnosis. Can you believe it? Sucking at math is now an official "disability". Millions of adults could probably retroactively get SOME kind of compensation under the Americans with disabilities act were they so inclined to do so.

I think you must be referring to "mathematics disorder". You seem to be being very dismissive about it. I wonder if your dismissiveness inducts up to all learning disorders (of which mathematics disorder is a subcategory)? Here's DSM on learning disorders in general:

Demoralization, low self-esteem, and deficits in social skills may be associated with Learning Disorders. The school drop-out rate for children or adolescents with Learning Disorders is reported at nearly 40% (or approximately 1.5 times the average). Adults with Learning Disorders may have significant difficulties in employment or social adjustment

Are you saying you think it's unhelpful in general to ... talk about learning disorders? Or that this language is not a useful language for talking about them--are you suggesting that "I, or you, suck at learning" would be a more useful langauge to talk about them?

I disagree. My 6 and 4 year old daughters attend a super amazing school called the EEU here in Seattle. It's a preschool and kindergarten, and half of the students are "typical", while the other half of the students are "atypical", which means that they are on the autism spectrum, or have some other physical or mental disability. The classes have about a 1 to 3 or 1 to 4 teacher to student ratio, and all the teachers are either graduates or graduate students of master's level and above education programs at the University of Washington. Which means, among other things, that these teachers are *steeped* in the language of which you are so dismissive. And the school is simply amazing. Many of the atypical students are able to go on to mainstream 1st grade and so forth, because of the amazing atmosphere and environment of the EEU which has helped them make super awesome progress in learning both academic skills and social skills. There are long queaus of parents waiting and wanting to get their kids into EEU--parents of both atypical and typical students, because it is such an amazing place. I am *super* thankful that our two got in, and among other things I think it has helped prepare them early on to be able to interact with atypical kids, and people, in a kind, ... normal way. I mean they're already way better at that than I am.

The 4 year old speaks

This conversation today, while waiting in the parking lot for the two safeway employees to finish their smoke break so that I could dumpster dive the safeway dumpster:

E (The six year old): Why can't you dumpster while they're there?

B (The Dad): Well, it's against social norms to dumpster dive, so they'd probably tell me to stop.

E: What's "Social norms"?

B: blah blah blah trying to explain social norms to a six and a four year old.

C (The four year old): "I broke my norm when I was a baby!"

Why Obama is winning--The new internet reality

Noted: Today, on Hillary's and Obama's Youtube channels, we were informed that the last login on Obama's channel was 53 minutes ago, while the last login on Hillary's channel was 1 day ago.

ONE DAY AGO?

It's not her fault. She grew up in the 50's and 60's. But there it is. Moreover, Obama's youtube channel has had a box where you can donate to his campaign, using google checkout, for weeks now. Hillary's still doesn't have that. Obama is showing us something that was not true for presidential campaigns in 2004, and will be true from now on: a candidate cannot win the presidency without fully engaging on the net.

And that's why Obama is going to win with a landslide in November. Because John McCain is even *more* disengaged from the net than Hillary is. Cause he grew up in the 40's and 50's. There it is. Watch their three web sites. Obama's is *so* clearly more net savvy. And McCain's is *so* clearly ... stilted.

Obama does hoops!

My review of the Shack

As I said previously, the brilliant and very personable Pam Hogeweide recently gave us a free copy of the rising-on-the-charts book entitled The Shack, by William P. Young. I finished it, and I can't come to a conclusion about it. So I'm doing my review in two parts.

The shack, pages 1-197: First of all, the writing is ... not un*bearable*, but ... clunky. By clunky I mean I found myself reading along and then there would be this "clunk". Like ... you're smoothly accelerating in your car, and then there's a ... hiccup, and you think to yourself "Someone should fix that". And I thought to myself *muliple* times in the first 30 pages "Good God, that would be relatively easy to fix--some editor should have fixed that." Oh well.

But then I sort of ... got over it. Our brains are wondrous machines with mechanisms for filtering out smallish annoying things.

The forward should just be skipped altogether. It...doesn't really do anything except give a preview of the stilted sort of things which are to follow the setup.

Okay, then ... pages 14 through 80 worked reasonably well. I mean we get a decently told story, and by decently told, I mean it rings true--in the best sense of the word. Willie sets up a great opportunity to discuss some questions that are both interesting and ... close to home for a lot of people, and does it with story without getting too didactic on us. He even very kindly sets up for us a big lie which lots of people believe, and does it in a way which leaves open the possibility of blowing the lie apart (always a delightful and terrifying thing to have happen):

Mack's heart broke as he understood what this conversation had really been about. He gathered his little girl into his arms and pulled her close, With his own voice a little huskier than usual, he gently replied, "No honey. I will never ask you to jump off a cliff, never, ever, ever."

"Then, will God ever ask me to jump off a cliff?"

"No, Missy. He would never ask you to do anything like that."

He also catches out our culture on overstigmatization of child abusers/sex offenders, although he does it in a way which *seems* to indicate that he rather agrees with it:

Something in the heart of most human beings simply cannot abide pain inflicted on the innocent, especially children. Even broken men serving in the worst correctional facilities will often first take out their own rage on those who ahve caused suffering to children. Even in such a world of relative morality, causing harm to a child is still considered absolutely wrong. Period!

Alas, as it turns out, all the story is really just set up for a rather longish theological treatise, to which Willie treats us pretty much from pages 80 through approximately .... well, at least through 197 or so. You thought Mark Driscoll sermons were long? Willie descends to mere allegory. I mean it in this sense: C.S. Lewis defended his Chronicles of Narnia thusly:

If Aslan represented the immaterial Deity in the same way in which Giant Despair [a character in The Pilgrim's Progress] represents despair, he would be an allegorical figure. In reality however he is an invention giving an imaginary answer to the question, 'What might Christ become like, if there really were a world like Narnia and He chose to be incarnate and die and rise again in that world as He actually has done in ours?' This is not allegory at all.

Willie's writing becomes allegorical in the stricter sense, and alas, allegory is no longer *story* in the best sense (and my apologies to all you Pilgrim's Progress fans out there). It's more like a regression from story.

And Willie's is just totally unbearable. In fact, he falls into a trap which he himself knows to be a trap (how very human of him). He says of family devotions as a child:

Often it was a tedious and boring exercise in coming up with the right answers, or rather the same old answers to the same old Bible story questions, and then trying to stay awake during his father's excruciatingly long prayers.

So pages 80 through 197 are mostly like that. Mack's totally justifiable anger gets more or less the same treatment nasty emotions get in most of the Christian churches I've ever been involved with. We have God mouthing old and mostly unsatisfying, and sometimes really toxic churchy "truths" for 117 pages. So he had me underlining, starring, and writing "BULLSHIT" in great big letters in the margins.

Mack was glad he was stepping back from his ugly accusation. (page 92)

"Mackenzie, I never left him, and I have never left you."
"That makes no sense to me," he snapped.
"I know it doesn't, at least not yet. Will you at least consider this: When all you can see is your pain, perhaps then you lose sight of me?" (page 96)

"Relationships are never about power." (page 106)
"What you're seeing here is relationship without any overlay of power." (page 122)

"But don't think that just because I'm not visible, our relationship has to be less real. It will be different, but perhaps even more real." (page 112)

"There are millions of reasons to allow pain and hurt and suffering rather than eradicate them, but most of those reasons can only be understood within each person's story. I am not evil. You are the ones who embrace fear and pain and power and rights so readily in your relationships. But your choices are also not stronger than my purposes and I will use every choice you make for the ultimate good and the most loving outcome" (page 125)

"You must give up your right to decide what is good and evil on your own terms" (page 136)

"In one instance, the good may be the presence of cancer or the loss of income, or even a life" (Byron has something to say about this)

"Genuine relationships are marked by submission even when your choices are not helpful or healthy" (page 145)

and here's a little "criticize the victim":

"The real underlying flaw in your life, Mackenzie, is that you don't think that I am good." (page 126)

Mackenzie gets very slightly honest and angry with God on occasion (emphasis on the (annoyingly) slightly):

"One last comment. I just can't imagine any final outcome that would justify all this." (page 127)

Bottom line, although there were also bits and pieces of beauty in there, it was mostly just yuck, through page 197 or so.

Although I must throw in this caveat. I can imagine a time in my past when i *think* *maybe* I would have found this not only bearable, but actually ... encouraging. Why do I say that? Because I grew up in a Christianity where the level of discussion about these issues was *even* shallower than this. I mean to say we weren't even allowed to talk about it at *all*. Period. In fact, I'm guessing for instance, that my old pastor will probably roundly condemn this book from the pulpit, if it starts to worm it's way into that church--not because it's too ... stultifying, but rather because it's too ... open and ... liberal. (I mean to say if he's still the same as he was when I knew him. 'Cause he coulda changed.) So I can see how for myself or others in an even more stultifying atmosphere of Christianity that the one Willie lays on us, this book would be liberating and beautiful, because they would kind of be looking ... forward toward it, while I'm kind of looking backward toward it. If that makes any sense. Xukes I hope I am not coming across sounding as astoundingly arrogant as I actually am.

The Shack, Part 2, pages 197 through 248. Okay, here's why I can't decide what I think about the book. It's gets a *lot* better after page 197. Suddenly God starts saying things that ... well, that by God ought to be said. I just haven't been able to decide if the last 50 pages makes up for the previous 120. I'm going to have to sit on that for a few days. But now we get lot of "HOORAY!" quotes from God:

"Mackenzie, religion is about having the right answers, and some of their answers are right. But I am about ..."

and "Just don't look for rules and principles; look for relationship--a way of being with ..." (page 197)

"Enforcing rules, especially in its more subtle expressions like responsibility and expectation, is a vain attempt to create certainty out of uncertainty" (page 203)

"Religion must use law to empower itself and control the people who they need in order to survive." (page 205).

"Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value."
and
"Beyond that [what I already know], because I have no expectations, you never disappoint me." (page 206)

"Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they've done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible." (page 225)

At the end, we get ... redemption that isn't excessively schmarmy, which is really nice.

Overall, I guess at this point I wouldn't recommend it. A bit too much wading through sludge required in exchange for the payoff. Instead, perhaps, try out the yotta brilliant Aurelia's Colors, which is, thank the gods, all straight up great story from beginning to end. Or else Helen Dewitt's zeta brilliant novel, or Mark Haddon's, or Michael Chabon's, or ... (okay, I'll stop. but those *are* all really great reads, and if you haven't read any of them, I totally recommend them.)

Friday Video-Baracky!

The Shack

So the delightful Pam Hogeweide, the pleasure of whose company we enormously enjoyed over the past weekend, very kindly gave us a copy of the moving up the charts book entitled The Shack when she visited last weekend. She had just scored an interview with author William P Young.

I am getting *so* seriously pissed off at Mr. Young. Which is probably a good thing. I'd *much* rather be pissed off at him than bored out of my mind by him. I'm only 120 pages in, so it's still redeemable (barely, somehow, I suppose) at this point. But right now I am also overwhelmingly disappointed, because, although as Pam pointed out, the writing is *astoundingly ... well, "rough" was the word she used--a kinder one than I would have chosen, the story had real potential, at the beginning, but it has unfortunately degenerated into a long sermon in which Mr. Young merely very unsatisfyingly (and infuriatingly) attempts to rehash very old theological ground. Oh well.

I have a bunch of quotes and stuff for you, but I'll write a full review once I've finished the book.

I should have known better when I heard that it was so popular among American Christians, who also liked, for instance, The Purpose Driven Life (which is, for instance, at #374 in book sales on Amazon.com, while an obviously *far* superior book such as Brian Mclaren's Everything Must Change is way down at 1300 and something)

Hope

For all you people out there who thing this blog is too dark (you know who you are), here is an astoundingly beautifully hopeful story. There--see--it's not all dark (He said to himself ...).

"The surge is working"

326 civilian deaths by violence in Iraq over the past 7 days, not including the 50+ killed today, but definitely including:

Mosul: April 16: father and daughter shot dead by US forces during clashes

Baghdad: April 15: US air strikes kill 2 boys

Mosul, April 15: schoolgirl is shot in the head by stray bullet while sitting in classroom

Hilla, April 13: US soldiers open fire and kill civilian after their patrol is targeted by roadside bomb.

Baghdad, April 12: 7 die in clashes/US air strikes,

Baghdad, April 10: US air strikes kill 8 (inc. 2 boys)

Fees to U.S. Taxpayers for the above mentioned killings of Iraqi civilians by the U.S. military: at least $3 Billion.

Whatever you do, don't stress about it. Iraqi children are measurably less valuable than American children, so it's not really a big deal. Just buy your fair trade latte (skim soy milk), and off to your job, or classes, or whatever. It's not your fault anyway.

Why Jimmy Carter won the Nobel peace prize

And George W. Bush didn't (and never will).

Carter said this past Saturday

I feel quite at ease in doing this. I think there's no doubt in anyone's mind that, if Israel is ever going to find peace with justice concerning the relationship with their next-door neighbors, the Palestinians, that Hamas will have to be included in the process.

I think that it's very important that at least someone meet with the Hamas leaders to express their views, to ascertain what flexibility they have, to try to induce them to stop all attacks against innocent civilians in Israel and to cooperate with the Fatah as a group that unites the Palestinians, maybe to get them to agree to a cease-fire - things of this kind.

Bush representative Condoleeza Rice said

I find it hard to understand what is going to be gained by having discussions with Hamas about peace when Hamas is, in fact, the impediment to peace.

Benjamin said

Hooray for Jimmy Carter. He makes me proud to be an American.

My Uncle Steve

My uber-kewl Uncle Steve is one of the most creative, funny, awesome people I know. Recently his attention has been captured by the disparities in the world. He has a website, calledtobefreeministries.com, where he sells various artistic productions of his own, including his own homespun CD's. In fact, you can listen to some of his tracks here.

Anyway, he recently decided to just give proceeds from sales on his site to agencies that are helping MTWABP (make the world a better place), which I think is pretty kewl.

The French crossword guy

Ran across this video today. It's an acapella group called Naturally 7 singing a song called "Feel it in the air tonite" (Lyrics here) on the subway in Paris.

Two things to notice. At the beginning of the video, some people are clearly turned off, or annoyed, or some such when these guys break into loud live song. By the end, *almost* everbody on the subway car has been sucked into their contagious good spirits.

But there's this guy I call the crossword guy. He's got his back to them. At the beginning, he seems to be doing a crossword puzzle in a newspaper. If you watch, a couple times during the video, he seems almost half tempted to partake, to turn toward, but also kind of hovering between that and a sophisticated annoyance. By the end, he's strongly decided to go with the cold turning away from. This in spite of the fact that by then *everyone* else in the car has turned toward. This is my question: Do you/have you ever played the roll of the crossword guy? I know I have/do. And I don't like him. And I don't wanna be that way. Ever again.

It's officila-Bush/Cheney (and thus *we*) are torturers

(as if it wasn't before).

That is to say the two men we popularly elected twice, and continue to allow to rule over us, officially approved, nay, called for, torturing people.

Meanwhile, the guy we *failed* to elect won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Now how much wiggle room does that leave us Americans, if we're trying to wiggle out of the moniker "warmongers"?

(Hint: there's only one right answer, it's simple, and it dates back to at least the 4th century B.C.)

Here's what torture looks like. (warning, graphic images of what your elected officials have approved and instigated)

(Whatever you do, don't think too much about this. Just give it a passing glance, and then move on about your day. There's nothing you can do about it anyway)

Happy thought for the day

See here (warning: some level of sarcasm is being employed here).

This week in Iraq-273 more civilian deaths

From Iraq Body Count Recent Events

Try to get your head around what that would feel like if it were happening here.

No, I mean we have 30 times the population of Iraq, so try to get your head around what it would look like if 8,190 people had been violently killed here this past week.

Including 29 killed by U.S. armed forces.

That would be like an occupying Muslim army killing 870 Americans this last week.

Which is why I don't get it that people like Usama Dakdok claim that Muslims are trying to take over America. To me, it looks more like Christians are trying to take over Iraq.

This week's violent deaths in Iraq included at least 6 children

For all this you and I and the rest of us (Americans) were required to pay at least 2 billion dollars. And another piece of whatever soul we had left.

streptococcus pyogenes

These little guys on the on the bottom are multiplying in vast numbers in the back of my throat. My immune system is orchestrating a generalized response which involves 38 degrees C (or 101 F).

Every time I swallow--I mean *every* time--the inflamed nerve endings in the back of my mouth send signals racing along nerve pathways to my brain saying "AHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH. *DON"T DO THAT AGAIN!"

But the nice physician's assistant I saw today, Kevin, says I *must* drink water. 3-4 liters a day, if possible.

Meanwhile, Kevin also prescribed some penicillin. So I guess the little guys on the top are killing the little guys above, while we wait for my specific immune system to fully assess the situation and enter the fray. Eventually, I'm guessin the strep is going to lose. Although apparently it *does* lead to death in some cases.

All I can say is "praise Allah for opiates."

Billary hits new all time low on Intrade

She traded today at 12 cents, the lowest since the democratic presidential nomination markety opened in late 2004. It means that the people who are betting think there is a 12% chance she will win the nomination.

See intrade.com

Mood

Did you ever wake up on a spring morning, and hear the sweet little birds twittering outside the window (because your ... lovely wife opened the bloody window thus letting in the icy cold Seattle air), and think to your self, "Self, I hope those sweet little birds drop dead."?

Just wondering.

(Hey--look what comes up first when you do a google image search on my name)

RIP Mike Weeks

Mike Weeks was the associate pastor of the church which provided the social fabric of my youth. From the ages of 13 through 18, he was also principal/director of the very small Christian school (and later homeschooling cooperative) at which I was a student. On Wednesday mornings (or was it every school morning?) Mike would lead a short chapel service before school began. We would say the Pledges of Allegiance to the American Flag, the Christian Flag, and the Bible. Then Mike would give us a short lesson, sometimes from the Bible, sometimes just a moral lesson of some sort.

I remember one of these mornings learning the word "deference", a character trait toward which Mike was encouraging us. He said if two of us got to the water fountain at the same time, we ought to each give way to the other, and then had two of us come forward and role play it: "You first!" "No, I insist, you first!".

He encouraged me and helped me complete my high school diploma. He was very supportive of my successful endeavor to memorize the Old Testament book of Proverbs. He and others arranged a big awards ceremony at the end of every school year to encourage the students. I was one of a smallish group--less than 20, I think, who graduated from Shorecrest Baptist Academy and Heritage Baptist Academy over the years. I knew Mike was definitely proud of me.

We called him "Brother Weeks". He required mutual respect between students and faculty and staff. "Sir" and "Ma'am" were the accepted forms of address. I don't remember him ever being unkind or out of control, although I imagine we must have sorely tempted his patience many times. He taught us "Failing to plan is planning to fail".

I think he probably worked inordinate numbers of hours in his jobs as associate pastor and school principal, in addition to his other job as a professional physical therapist. Looking back, I think Mike would have done just about anything to see me succeed. I do believe he loved me. I remember the tone of disappointment I heard in his voice when he heard a few years ago that I was working as an auto mechanic. I think he knew I was meant to be doing something that would somehow have more of an impact on the world. He didn't want me to settle for less than the best.

I never got to tell Mike thank you for all the work and love he invested in me. When I heard that he was so very sick, I tried to stop by because I wanted to tell him, but I had waited too long. By Sunday, he was so close to dying and was unable to even recognize me. I felt very sad about that. I'm really thankful for the blessing that Mike Weeks was to me. Thank you, Brother Weeks. You totally rocked. I wish I had taken the opportunity to get to know you as an adult.

Highlights from the blogosphere this week

From Jessica's Indexed

From Joe's a Life Reviewed

What is not OK is to deny me the rights and privileges you enjoy because - and only because - you find my actions abhorrent. Society functions largely because people ignore the things they find abhorrent in others, how are you deciding that this particular aspect of my life is more abhorrent than anything else? If you are going to deny gays an equivalent legal instrument to recognise long term fidelity, are you also going to deny the reality of Hindu marriage because you find some of their rituals disgusting?

From 3 blessings

I stopped and smelled the blossoms on one of the cherry trees in the quad today, and it blew me away with it’s powerful yet delicate sweetness. I’m getting little shivers of joy remembering it. That went well because I slowed down and actually stopped for the 10 seconds it took to do that.

March Iraq round-up--1378 dead, 52 of them children

From Lily Hamourtziadou at Iraq Body Count

All explanations are possible, as are all justifications, reasons, myths and narratives. But above and beyond all those narratives and justifications, as March 2008 comes to an end, at least another 1,378 Iraqi civilians (52 of them children) are added to the list of the fallen ‘for freedom and democracy,’ both of which are yet to be seen in this war-torn country.

I found

Pudge's Youtube channel recently.

I liked this one. The lyrics are here

Hillary definitely lied.

Earlier I said "Did she lie?". Then I said "Maybe she lied." Now Christopher Hitchens has convinced me. She lied.

So here's my question: Hitchens says in his article that Bill lied too, and not about Lewinksy, but about helping in Bosnia. And 250,000 people died.

So if Reagan ran operations in Central America that led to the deaths of more than a million.

And Clinton lied to the Bosnians and thus took some credit for 250,000 deaths.

And W lied to everyone leading to the deaths of a million in Iraq.

What did GHW Bush (Bush senior) do?

What about Carter?

And what will McCain, Hillary, or Obama do?

(see my lovely pleasant happy way of looking at the world?)

Distressed

This guy is coming to speak at my beautiful mother's church. He calls Islam "worse than a cancer" which is triply distressing for me both because my mother is *dying* of cancer, and today I saw Mike Weeks, who the principal of the christian school I grew up in, and then of the homeschooling cooperative I did high school in.

I went to see Mike Weeks, who I basically haven't talked to in 7 years, because I heard that he was dying of cancer and probably would die within a couple weeks, and I wanted to ... clear the air with him, in a sense--you know, ask him if there was anything I might be able to apologize for, and tell him thank you for all the hard work he put into my education. But when I went to see him today, He was in no shape to talk--he didn't even recognize me, I don't think--he was on a lot of pain drugs. I remember him as a strong leader, and today he was so very old, and weak, and he's only 50ish, I think.

So I didn't get to talk with him.

At least my lovely mom is still able to eat. The doctor said probably eventually the ovarian cancer would block her GI tract again and make her unable to eat.

Anyway, I wish I had half the hope that it takes to be either a Muslim or a Christian. I've only known two Muslims in my life, and they were both delightful people. There are 1.2 billion Muslims in the world. They make up 22% of the population of the planet. Christians make up another 33%. And this Usama fellow is spreading lies and hatred between the two groups.

But the calling Islam a cancer just really got me today. Starting crying writing this. My beautiful mother is planning to go to this class at her church in a couple weeks--three evenings under the tutelage of this Usama. Very very distressing.

Today I am grateful for

Lily Hamourtziadou, who manages to keep Iraq more real than anyone on the net.

Ok, maybe she did lie--the digital cultural divide.

I loved the bolded phrase in this sentence: "That Mrs. Clinton’s campaign kept insisting her Bosnia tale was the truth two days after The Post exposed it as utter fiction also shows the political perils of 20th-century analog arrogance in a digital age."

Frank Rich's article touches on a highly fascinating fact. Obama, who is 46, is light years ahead of both Clinton and McCain in his use of the internet, and specifically web 2.0. Obama is raising more money on line, getting his information out better online, etc. etc. etc. Some smallish examples:

Obama's youtube channel has accumulated 13.2 million views
Hillary's has accumulated 1.4 million views.

Obama's youtube channel, and all the videos associated with it, have a very kewl, very gnarley, very useful little google checkout window embedded where you can donate money to the candidate. I think these are fairly new. I started noticing them 8 days ago, on march 21.
Hillary's youtube channel *doesn't* have them. Even though she's had at least 8 days to copy Obama on it.

Obama's speech on race, some 37 minutes long, has been viewed in it's entirety 3.6 million times since he gave it less than two weeks ago. That means ~1% of Americans have seen not just snippets or sound bites, but a full exposure to his thoughts/ideas on the subject. Think about -- 37 MINUTES in our sound bite age. Obama is effectively ... bypassing the news media and getting his message straight to the voters.
Meanwhile, good luck finding a full version (here's the *text*) of Hillary's latest major speech, delivered at George Washington University on March 17, about the Iraq War. Instead, you'll find segments of it in a CBS news report that shows that she was fabricating--a video that has had 1.7 million views in just the last 5 days.

In light of all that--imagine the generational disconnect with regards to politics and culture overall. I don't think it's simply that Obama is a lot more savvy politician than Hillary (although it's fairly clear he is). I think it's that Hillary is 60 years old, and she learned to do life, and politics, before personal computers and the internet were around. I'm not saying she can't learn. I'm just saying ... it's different for her than for someone born even 15 years later, and different again for someone born 15 years after that. Very different. It's just interesting to ponder.

Spring snow in Seattle

Hooray--I looked out this afternoon to see trillions of enormous white snow flakes falling. And they're sticking.

here's a slideshow of the Seattle area snow from a local tv channel, from user submitted photos.

I have a new nephew!

Isn't he gorgeous? His name is Zachary. Hooray!

Mormons

Today two young men with nametags which said "elder" on them appeared at my door--a bit of a juxtaposition.

I've lived at this house for two years, and they've never come 'round before. I've been kind of waiting for them to show up, because I realized sometime in the past two years that the story I grew up with--the one with Abraham nearly killing his son, and Noah presiding over a planet wide flood, and Jonah getting swallowed by a humpback, then vomited back up, and millions of Jews walking across the middle of a sea, and ... I guess finally Jesus being born to a virgin and growing up as a carpenter and getting a little wild and powerful in his later years, and ... coming back from the dead, and ...

You know (or maybe you don't?) --the whole Christian story thing.

Anway, I realized that *that* story must certainly be at *least* as strange to the untrained ear as the story the Mormons tell, whatever it may be--something about a New York farm boy named Joe, and a couple of tribes of sort of prishistoric native Americans, who were apparently actually immigrants themselves--from the Middle East, of all places.

So I thought to myself "Self, next time some of those youthful elders show up, you should invite them in and get them to tell you the damned story. It sounds potentially fascinating. And it would be ever so much easier, and more interesting, to get it from them than to read it somewhere.

So today I had about 40 minutes free, so I invited them in (I'm imagining my delightful mother shivering in horror upon reading this. (Relax mom--I'm only kidding--I know you aren't shivering in horror)). Their names were Brandon and Beau--yep--spelled like that. Brandon is from (of all places) Utah, and Beau from Pheonix. They were very ... earnest. That's nothing to fault them for--I was a lot more earnest once than I currently am.

I learned a few interesting things I didn't know. For instance, apparently the mormon church in general promotes the use of the King James version of the Bible. I found that surprising--it's so very ... quaint, and ... I guess I had an image of the Mormon Church as being a bit more ... savvy than that. But there it is.

And they don't get to *choose* where they do their two year mission. They send in an application of sorts and the prophet--that's the head guy, and his board of 12 guys (Were they called "apostles"? I can't remember) pray over each and every application, and then choose where each shall go. Which has got to be a hell of a time consuming job, since apparently there are some 53,000 Mormon missionaries around the world. But there it is. But anyway, these two blokes got stuck with *very* secular Seattle. Kinda sucks to be them, from my POV, when they could have gotten some rather exotic location and been learning a foreign language and such for two years. But they seemed at peace with it. Good for them!

They asked my permission to pray at the beginning and end of our conversation, and I acquiesed, although I kept my eyes open (call me a cynic =).

Overall, I was really disappointed with the visit. I really like Beau and Brandon, and they were pretty good at what they do. They said at their church, which is about 45 blocks south and west of here, they get about 300 converts a year. Not too bad, I guess, for Seattle--not too bad at all, although I guess Mark Driscoll is kind of showing them up a little. But they were a lot nicer than Mark Driscoll, and I have the impression that maybe their church--I mean at least the Seattle local iterations of it, are a lot nicer than Mars Hill, which isn't hard to do.

They kept pressing me to pray and ask God if this story was true, since if it is, it's *super* important. And I kept telling them I don't pray, and they were curious about that, so I explained how we me and the Man got a divorce cause I was just always pissed off at him, and it really didn't seem to be going anywhere, so I thought the best thing was for us to go our separate ways. They seemed to understand that.

They also did a little bit of ... further ... sales, in wanting to schedule a time to come back and teach me more, and/or wanting to give me a tour of their church building. But I told them to just drop back in some time.

I got to learn a little about how the process works for them--it sounds like a generally great experience.

But overall, I was disappointed. I wanted to hear some details about the story about the Lamaanites and the Nephlites (did I get those names right?)--the two prehistoric native american groups who came over from Jerusalem in 600 BC, and to whom Jesus came and spoke not long after his resurrection circa A.D. 33. Something about how one of them genocided the other, and the genociders constitute the ancestors of the native Americans of today.

But they weren't very forthcoming on the details. I was actually very disappointed. I pressed them at least three times during the 45 minutes we talked for stories about these two groups and how it all went down, and they just weren't forthcoming. They encouraged me to read the book of Mormon, and I said (and meant) that I don't really have time.

So much for my big plan to get the 20 minutes interesting personalized version of the story from the next Mormon missionaries who came to my door. If they come back, I'm going to make it a condition of inviting them in--make them promise to tell me at least 3 good stories, with realisitic characters and vivid details, and at least a little suspense. If they won't agree to it, I'll just shoo them on. Because I disagree with Beau and Brandon--I guess I see the world differently than they do, and to me it's not important whether the story is "true" in some factual sense. To me, it's more important whether it's *true* in a ... human sense, by which I mean to say, "Is it interesting? Does it break your heart, or make you want to sing, or scream, or go eat some ice cream, or *something*?" And today, while they were *very* earnest, *their* iteration of the Mormon story was in this latter sense resoundingly *untrue*.

So that was my Mormon adventure for the day. I'm kinda glad they stopped by =)

The Audacity of Hopelessness

The Long Defeat

4000 dead Americans (and two ugly ones)

Huffington Post offers this photo montage of the 4000 U.S. soldiers who have died in Iraq

Why I don't "go to church" on Easter

Read it at the other blog I help run: Why I don't "go to church" on Easter

Did Hillary Clinton lie?

On March 17, Hillary Clinton described her arrival to the Balkans on a trip in 1996 thusly:

I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base.

But video footage of her arrival seems to indicate otherwise.



So did she lie? I wouldn't call it that. We're talking about something that happened 11 years ago. I don't think she lied, I think she actually just formed a false memory, which is something else altogether, and it's really easy to do.

In fact, one of my favorite ever psychology professors, Melissa Grinley, did a really fascinating research project she called "Tourist Memory Distortion". The study involved 129 undergraduate psychology students. The students were told they were participating in a study of advertising techniques and were asked to view ads for Disney Resorts and then to rate the ads. They were then asked to rate their own memories of childhood visits to Disney Resorts. In the experimental condition, the Disney ads contained Bugs Bunny, a Warner Brothers character who does not actually ever make appearances at Disney Resorts. In the study, several (14) of the students in the control condition remembered having met Bugs Bunny at Disney world, and 4 of those 14 indicated that their memory was a "remember" type of memory rather than a "know" type of memory, by which the meant they didn't just *know* they had seen Bugs at Disney World, they actually *remembered*, in an episodic way, having met him. It's a fascinating study and it demonstrates just how easily our memories can be manipulated, and how easy it is to construct, based on false information, a vivid memory for something that never even happened.

No doubt some people will find this really disturbing, and I'd like to point out that in writing this post, I'm not in any way trying to imply that, for instance, sexual abuse victims whose perps have claimed their memories are false should not be taken seriously. On the contrary, I'm rather inclined to believe the victim and call the perp a liar, merely based on factual evidence about the prevalence of sexual abuse in our culture--I'm guessing way more often than not it actually *did* happen.

I merely wanted to point out that I wouldn't call Hillary's mis-memory a lie. I don't think she was intentionally misdescribing what happened as she remembered it. Rather, I think she has, over the past 11 years, falsified the memory--not intentionally, just because that is what happens to us. We're astoundingly human, and it's just too easy to do.

If you want to read the whole study by Melissa Grinley, email me at benjaminDOTAdy AT Gmail.com and I'll email you a bootleg copy.

Confused

Quotes from George Bush's speech today which confuse me. Two things most of all confuse me: 1. What does George Bush *mean* when he refers to the already accomplished "liberation of Iraq". and 2. Does he refer to so many crimes of Saddam which match up so perfectly well with crimes of the U.S. because he actually doesn't *see* the similarities, or does he see and ignore?

• The answers are clear to me
• The men and women who crossed into Iraq 5 years ago ... rescued millions from unspeakable horrors
• Operation Iraqi freedom was a remarkable display of military effectiveness.
• Our troops engaged in pitched battle with ... death squads that obeyed neither the conventions of war nor the dictates of conscience
• Aided by the most effective and precise air campaign in history ...
• New chapters to the story of American military heroism
• The liberation of Iraq took incredible skill and amazing courage--the speed, precision, and brilliant execution of the campaign will be studied by military historians for decades to come.
• Because we acted,
• S. H. no longer fills fields with remains of innocent men women and children
• S's torture chambers and rape rooms have been closed for good
• S's regime is no longer invading it's neighbors and attacking them with chemical weapons.
• (Hmmmm. This sounds like a list of things the U.S. has done since the invasion)

He seems to have a profoundly different understanding of Al Qaeda's strategy in Iraq than my own understanding. My understanding of their strategy was to continue to train their members on the cheap, treasure wise, while this war pushes the U.S. into a perhaps un-recoverable economic tailspin. Did I miss something?

Five years later

Today marks the five year anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq on March 19th, 2003--an invasion based on the premise that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, a premise which turned out to be false.

This blog is participating in a blogswarm against the war. See who else is participating here

Costs of the War include

• At least 4000 U.S. soldiers' lives lost
• Over a million Iraqi lives lost (how's that for proportionality)
  
• A final dollar cost to the U.S. of 3 Trillion dollars
• Oil has hit $111/barrel
• U.S. soldiers have participated in, even led, war crimes and atrocities
• Not to mention Abu Ghraib, an event which has mostly been forgotten by the U.S. populace, but which continues to receive regular media attention in the Muslim world
  
• 16% of U.S. soldiers who have served in Iraq are returning from the devastating psychological illness called Combat Related PTSD, more than the 15% rate from the Vietnam War. Although it's hard to get a handle on how many total soldiers have served in Iraq, the number is probably over a million, which means at least 160,000 soldiers suffering from PTSD
• Here's a devastating statistic: 120 Iraq and Vietnam War vets are committing suicide *every week*!
  
• World opinion of the U.S. has gone down and down

Pro's of the war include:

... well ... Bush says it's all been worth it, somehow

glorified sailing bodies

So how will you know when the real Jesus comes to earth? I'll know Jesus has reappeared when my glorified body sails through the heavens past the Milky Way into the presence of God.

That's from the FAQ portion of John McCain backer John Hagee's web site. Hagee is a Zionist, and a televangelist, and heads a non-profit organization which reportedly pays him over a million dollars a year. (now where can I find a gig like that?)

I'm pretty sure some largish minority, or perhaps even a majority, of Americans believe the Glorified Sailing Bodies Theory of Jesus' return. (BICBW)

So I just have one question. Are all these glorified bodies, sailing past the Milky Way (and god doesn't *that* sound a bit disorienting (and cold? brrrrr.)?) going to be clothed? I mean if they're glorified, hell, they might as well be naked as well =).

I dare you to try not to visualize that. =p

The Past isn't Dead and Buried

In fact, it isn't even past.

The strangest thing happens when I listen to this guy. I find myself entertaining the hope that I could be proud of my president--something I haven't experienced since I was old enough to have such thoughts.

"Preacher Idol" on GodTube

I'm not making this up.

here are the questions:

1. Do you find this as painful as I do?
2. Do you find this as painful as I do?

You can vote in Preacher Idol 2008 here.

This contestant, Jocelyn Bell, is running 2nd in the voting right now.

See all five finalists here

The fix

This morning I realized for sure what the fix is for all the nasty crap in the ongoing democratic primary campaign, and the nasty news coverage of it--I need to just listen to the future president give a speech every once in a while. He *so* nails it.
Here he is on Saturday.

(Here's another interesting tidbit. He's left handed. how yotta kewl is that? Every lefty I've ever known has been very kewl.)

bachelor's degree

On Tuesday I'll finally be done with this (bloody) quarter, and barring unforeseen events, in June, after just one more quarter, I'll graduate with a bachelor's degree in psychology and maths. And if that happens, according to the U.S. census bureau, I'll be more educated than ~70% of the American populace.

(But only more educated than 47.3% of Seattle's populace.)

But where does that put me? The U.S. ranks 12th on the education index in the 2007 version of the U.N.'s Human Development Report. That's out of 177 nations. Which puts us in the top 7%.

Which means I'm in the top 30% of the top 7% of the planets population in terms of education (I realize this is an oversimplification). Which puts me pretty much in the top 2% of the planet in terms of education. Even though this is a simplification, it's probably a fairly accurate generalization of the situation.

And what have I done to MTWABP (make the world a better place) with this unseemly wealth?

Not much. yet. Note to self: get to work on this.

Further note to self: If you don't, it won't really matter all that much in the grand scheme of things, so maybe you should set your goals a little lower, and settle for ... a nice comfortable middle class life in suburbia.

Tiger Woods for President

2016. After 8 years of Obama, I think we'll be ready. And that will give Tiger plenty of time to finish off the PGA tour wins record, and the majors won in lifetime record too. I'd vote for him.

In response to attacks on Pastor Jeremiah Wright

The Trinity United Church of Christ today released this (entirely reasonable) statement. Good for them!

Chicago, Ill. (March 15, 2008) - “Dr. Wright has preached 207,792 minutes on Sunday for the past 36 years at Trinity United Church of Christ. This does not include weekday worship services, revivals and preaching engagements across America and around the globe, to ecumenical and interfaith communities. It is an indictment on Dr. Wright’s ministerial legacy to present his global ministry within a 15- or 30-second sound bite,” said the Reverend Otis Moss III, pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ.

During the 36-year pastorate of Dr. Wright, Trinity United Church of Christ has grown from 87 to 8,000 members. It is the largest congregation in the United Church of Christ (UCC) denomination.

“It saddens me to see news stories reporting such a caricature of a congregation that has been such a blessing to the UCC’s Wider Church mission,” said the Rev. John H. Thomas, UCC general minister and president, in a released statement. “ … It’s time for us to say ‘No’ to these attacks and declare that we will not allow anyone to undermine or destroy the ministries of any of our congregations in order to serve their own narrow political or ideological ends.”

Trinity United Church of Christ’s ministry is inclusive and global. The following ministries have been developed under Dr. Wright’s ministerial tutelage for social justice: assisted living facilities for senior citizens, day care for children, pastoral care and counseling, health care, ministries for persons living with HIV/AIDS, hospice training, prison ministry, scholarships for thousands of students to attend historically black colleges, youth ministries, tutorial and computer programs, a church library, domestic violence programs and scholarships and fellowships for women and men attending seminary.

Moss added, “The African American Church was born out of the crucible of slavery and the legacy of prophetic African American preachers since slavery has been and continues to heal broken marginalized victims of social and economic injustices. This is an attack on the legacy of the African American Church which led and continues to lead the fight for human rights in America and around the world.”

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. preached the Christian tenet, “love thy neighbor as thyself.” Before Dr. King was murdered on April 4, 1968, he preached, “The 11 o’clock hour is the most segregated hour in America.” Forty years later, the African American Church community continues to face bomb threats, death threats, and their ministers’ characters are assassinated because they teach and preach prophetic social concerns for social justice. Sunday is still the most segregated hour in America.

Hee hee!

Obama wins seven extra delegates at the second round of the Iowa caucuses.

So much for "experience" and the vaunted "Clinton machine"

A.D. vs. B.C.

So in my studies today I noticed that Muslims have a calendar system whereby the designate years as "A.H." (from the Latin "anno Hegirae", or "Year of Hijra".)

So that sent me poking around, and I'm wondering, can anyone explain to me why we have "B.C." based on the English "Before Christ", but we have "A.D." based on the Latin "Anno Domini" or "Year of the Lord"?

I mean that's screwed up. They should both be Latin, or both be English.

Maybe we should stick with the more politically correct "B.C.E." and "C.E." At least they're both English, which, for the time being, is the most spoken language on earth (with 1.5 billion +) (although by no means the most spoken *first language* on earth, which as it turns out, is Mandarin, with nearly 900 million native speakers) (which is why after I get a good start on Arabic, one of my goals before I die is to learn Mandarin) (ha--good luck with that) (Hell, if Richard Wurmbrand can learn 9 or 14 languages, I don't know why I can't learn 4.)

Capitilalization, and a confession

First, the confession. A couple months ago, Hillary Clinton's campaign website was offering a free bumper sticker, and in the spirit of the idea that if I and everyone else signed up for it, we could cost her campaign hundreds of thousands of dollars, I went ahead and signed up, knowing it would get me on her email list, which I didn't mind, 'cause it's nice to see what the insiders get.

So since then, I've been on both Obama and Hillary's email lists. And today I noticed something I hadn't caught before.

All my emails from the Hillary campaign start out "Dear benjamin".

All my emails from the Obama campaign start out "Dear Benjamin".

(It should be noted that Hillary and Bill and Chesea's names, at the closing of the various emails, are all capitalized.)

Now probably this is just a function of how I typed in my name when I first got on their respective email lists. But ... I think their software should fix this. And I'm also curious, so now I'm going to go sign up on Obama's campaign with a different email address that I happen to own, and I'll put in "benjamin", rather than "Benjamin". Just to see if *his* software switches it to a capital.

I'm taking bets. Who thinks Obama's software will capitilize my name? Who doesn't?

justice and existential guilt

In one sense, it seems to me that from my perspective, justice probably isn't really all that desirable a thing. I guess it depends on what you mean by justice.

If you had asked me twenty years ago, I think I would have told you that justice has to do with sin and God. That if you have ever once done a single thing wrong, you've broken God's eternal perfect law, and hence you are guilty, and justice demands eternal torture in hell. But that God, who *must* have justice, has fixed things up by arranging for his own son to experience something equivalent (and that's another interesting terms--I think of it in terms of chemistry--equi-valent) to eternal torture in a mere three days--no wait, I mean something equivalent to all the eternal torture of every homo-sapien ever born--all in a mere three days, and that if you're willing, all that punishment can be put in lieu of your own punishment, and justice will be upheld, since JC didn't deserve it, since he didn't break any of the rules.

Now I think of it in altogether different terms. Now I think of justice more in terms of ... fairness, of balance (which gets closer to the etymological roots of the word), of evenness. It means on a very local scale that if it's cold outside, and I have two jackets, and Eowyn has none, then I give her one of mine. And on a larger scale, if I have a life expectancy of 70 years, and 3-4000 calories a day available to me, and plenty of fresh clean water to drink, and shelter when it's raining, and huge amounts of free time with which to do whatever the hell I want, and super brilliant medical care which means that my wife and baby live through a placental abruption, while 1 or 2 or even 3 billion people don't have some or all of these things, then I take steps to maybe live with a little less and see that they get a little more.

This can slip into existential guilt, which means when Igor, who is probably getting paid around $8/hour to sit in front of a computer with a phone and make phone calls to do interviews with people who are on the government-paid-for health care plan of which I am a part, calls and asks me lots of questions in at attempt to gather data (which will then be compiled and interpreted by someone making significantly more than $8/hour (of course both of them are making significantly more than the 3 billion people who get by on $2/day or less)) which will allow that health care plan to operate better, including "What race are you?", I answer "I'm part of the evil white domineering richest race on earth."

The more I hear, the more I like Jeremiah Wright

It seems pretty fracking obvious to me that we invited 9-11 on ourselves. And that we have imported drugs and exported arms and trained murderers (not to mention torturers) How can anybody argue with these things?

Why are people freaking out about this stuff, and why does Obama have to apologize for it?

Obama calls the statements "divisive and inflammatory".

Yeah, so? What divisive and inflammatory is american armed forces torturing Arab civilians at Abu Ghraib.

I'm famous

Here's me on the news here last week. I'm the one in the rainbow hued sweater fairly early in the video (in case you don't know what I look like =)

And in case you ever wanted to know, here's some instructions on how to use circular breathing technique to blow an never ending note on your harmonica.

Hooray. After my quiz tomorrow morning, All I have left to do for this quarter is 3 enormous finals on Monday and Tuesday (which, by the way, I am rather dreading). Then it's on to 16 credits of Math in Spring quarter, including

Differential Equations
Mathematical Reasoning
Matrix (which is to say, linear) algebra
Probability
Game theory.

Yippee.

Bush Deeply out of touch with reality

Here's George Bush's take today on being a U.S. soldier in Afghanistan.

"I must say, I'm a little envious," Bush said. "If I were slightly younger and not employed here, I think it would be a fantastic experience to be on the front lines of helping this young democracy succeed."


"It must be exciting for you ... in some ways romantic, in some ways, you know, confronting danger. You're really making history, and thanks," Bush said.

What a fuck up. While his family and cronies continue to make out like bandits in arms and oil sales (and don't even get me started on blackwater), over 5% of soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are dealing with PTSD, a *devastating* psychological disorder. How'd ya like to be in that lottery--1 in 20? For what? What amazing gains have been made in exchange for these costs?
Excuse me while I just go scream really loud.

Interview with Samantha Powers

My very own home town newspaper (by far the better of the two Seattle newspapers) did an interview today with Samantha Powers--she of the recent infamous "Clinton is a monster" comment which led to her resignation from her position on Obama's staff as a foreign policy advisor. I found the interview fascinating and humanizing. She said

What is so abhorrent about my comments is not only are they hurtful and hateful; they don't reflect my real views of Senator Clinton. These are not thoughts I had been having alone in my own home, storing up to vent over these 14 months.

I really just had one of those bad moments when you lose your temper and you say something that sticks. It sticks out there as something associated with Senator Clinton and also with me -- all because of me.

She's written two books: one about genocide and a new one about Sergio Vieira de Mello, the late U.N. Commissioner for Human Rights. She said of her book on genocide, which won a Pulitzer prize

The genocide book was personal. I had been in Bosnia in my early 20s and I had been shaped by the carnage and emotion, especially the fact that there were NATO planes flying overhead and not doing anything. I felt that I had not acquitted myself as aggressively as I should have in writing about those things. And I wanted to understand the act of bystanding -- how good people can do nothing in the face of very bad things...

Read the whole interview here

March 19 Iraq War Blogswarm

Make sure that you join the March 19 Blogswarm against the Iraq War. Suggestions/Ideas for writing can be found over on their site.

A wrap for Obama

With 44 of 55 states/territories having voted, and 3 full months of the primary season gone already, it pretty much looks like a wrap for Barack Obama.

By Delegate count:

In January, Obama 63, Clinton 48

On Super Tuesday, Obama 847, Clinton 825

In the rest of February, Obama 287, Clinton 164.5

In March, Obama 207, Clinton 205

Clinton will probably finally win a month with Pennsylvania, the only contest in April. But she's behind by 156 delegates, and even a 55/45 split in Pennsylvania will only get her 16 of those back.

Meanwhile, for May, she'll probably win Indiana, West Virginia, and Kentucky, with 183 total delegates, but he'll win North Carolina, and Oregon, with 199 delegates total. So that's probably a win in May for him too.

So help me out here. This is what I can't figure out. I understand, in a way, why Hillary doesn't step aside and admit the obvious--that she will not be the democratic party's nominee. What I don't understand is why people keep sending money to her campaign. That's a mystery to me. No matter how big an Obama fan I was, I would not send him another dime to campaign with once it became clear that the only way he could win was to miraculously convince the superdelegates that they should overturn the clear vote of the people.

But I guess that's the ... sort of more, perhaps, educated Obama's crowd type take on things. Or something.

Spitzer and sex, and Hillary

Can anyone explain to me why New York's governor Spitzer having sex with a prostitute is a bigger deal than, say, 384 civilian deaths in U.S. occupied Iraq this past week?

Or how about this: Is Spizter having sex with a prostitute *worse* than me, for instance, yelling at my wonderful four and six year old daughters because I was stressed out and lost my temper yesterday? How/Why or not?

Does anyone find it ... salacious that Hillary, who had to put up with her hubby's philandering back in the 90's, may lose a superdelegate vote due to Mr. Spitzer's philandering? (Com'on now, that is *totally* uncalled for!)

Why a hero?

Everyone, it seems, left, right, and center, seem to consider John McCain an "American hero" because of his service during the Vietnam War.

I'd love to hear some of the why/how of this story--especially from those of you who agree that he is a hero.

Please don't get me wrong. My own father is a Vietnam War Veteran, and I have enormous respect for my dad, and besides that, I rather like him a lot--He's a kewl guy--I like hanging around him, and I wish I was more like him in several ways, including that I wish I had even half of his hard work ethic and his ability to connect with and motivate people.

But from over here, it looks like the Vietnam War pretty much fucked up my dad's health permanently. He's now on 100% disability from the VA, including, I'm totally convinced, long lasting effects from exposure to agent orange, exposure to STD's, (look, let's not kid ourselves--it doesn't make my dad a bad guy--he was young, and ... a bit stupid. as were we all once) illegal pharmaceutical use, overconsumption of alcohol, undiagnosed and untreated (for the most part) PTSD, ... I could go on. To some extent this stuff was driven by the need to try to deal with the psychological effects of war.

So 4.1 million civilians died during the U.S./Vietnam War. And 1 million soldiers.

John McCain flew 23 bombing missions over Vietnam. What does that mean? It means he operated an aircraft from which, without any real understanding of or connection to the human cost of what he was doing, he could wreak death and destruction on human beings far below. He was an important part of the machinery which killed 5.1 million Vietnamese and American human beings.

In a larger context, what did those 5.1 million deaths accomplish? The Domino Theory of Communism turned out to not be true, since the U.S. *did* lose in Vietnam, and as it turned out, it *did not* lead to a Communist takeover of the whole world, leaving the U.S. all alone in a sea of Communist countries.

What about the aftermath? If we look at the conflict in the broader context of Southeast Asia, we ended up with Laos bombed back to the Stone Age fairly permanently, Cambodia completely and totally screwed up, The Hmong mostly screwed over by the U.S., etc. etc.

I'm just really confused about how being part of all this makes John McCain a hero.

Is it true that most American still aren't willing to admit, 40 years later, that something approaching genocide in SE Asia was a colossal screw up? Or is just that even if it was, the Americans who participated are still heroes somehow?

I don't buy this narrative. Calling John McCain a hero perpetuates a narrative which has clearly proven to be untrue: that America can, with military strength alone (that is to say, with violence), fix big problems in the world. This is a narrative which is deeply bound up in our psyche in this country--I mean we were birthed in violence, and we can't escape it, somehow. I don't buy it. It proves again and again to be untrue. And yet we continue to cast the story as if it were true. We're not telling ourselves the truth--imagining that we can avoid the pain of it by denying it.

And if I can just throw in one last little connection: this narrative is fundamentally and diametrically opposed to the legitimate Christian narrative. The Christian narrative is one where the founder thoroughly iterates by both words and actions that *perpetration* of violence is *not* the answer to violence, but rather *willing reception* of violence, with no response other than love, kindness, forgiveness toward the perpetrators. The American Christian myth of redemptive violence is thoroughly heretical, from my POV.

What your $3 Billion a week is buying you, part 259

A new study by a nobel prize winning economist says the Iraq War is costing the U.S. $12 Billion/month, with the final price tag somewhere between $1.7 Trillion and $2.7 Trillion, or more.

Meanwhile, here's what we get this week for our $3 Billion:

Last 7 days in Iraq: 384 civilians dead

But as President Bush and his friend 71 year old John McCain says "The surge is working"

(that is to say "We can successfully use violence to undermine violence")

Disappointing--why are Palestinians seen as less human than Jews?

Okay, I guess the honeymoon is over. I definitely think Obama is the best of the three candidates now standing to be president of the U.S.

But I was deeply disappointed to see the Obama campaign release today a resounding condemnation of the attacks in Jerusalem today which killed 8 Israeli civilians. Not because I don't think such attacks should be roundly condemned--they should.

Rather because Obama is following the now old-hat U.S. policy of condemning Palestinian violence against Israel, but staying very quiet about much worse Israeli violence against Palestinians. This is so sad. 8 Jews, civlians, were killed today. That's horrible. And dozens of Palestinians, also civilians, have been killed this week by Israeli defense forces. Where is the condemnation of that?

Why do American politicians and the American media tilt their response so strongly? I genuinely don't understand it. Is it an assumption that the Christian God loves Israelites more than Palestinians? I think that may ... touch on it. But I don't think it really explains it. Can anyone help me out?

Word of the day: labile

Today I learned

Labile:

Easily changing, unstable. If your asthma is labile, it means that you can go quickly and unpredictably from being perfectly fine to barely ...


Unstable; literally, characterized by a tendency to slip.


Readily undergoing change or breakdown. The term labile is often used to describe compounds (such as carbon or nitrogen) that are available to easily move through soils.

Now to use in a sentence. Here's a politically incorrect attempt: According to traditional gender stereotypes, women, on average, are more labile than men.

For your comparison

Here's the two candidates' speeches from last night.

Barack Obama:



Hillary Clinton:



Some quotes:

Barack Obama: "There is a larger responsibility that we have to one another ... that we are our brother's keeper, our sister's keeper" "In this campaign we will not stand for the politics that uses religion as a wedge and patriotism as a bludgeon"

Hillary Clinton: "For everyone who ever works hard and never gives up, this one is for you." "Ohio has written a new chapter in the history of this campaign." "America needs a president who's ready to lead."

Would love to hear your reactions to the speeches.

Why won't Hillary Clinton publicly release her tax returns?

I invite speculation as to why. I'll publish my favorite to the top of the blog. =p

Word of the day:

"Sequelae": Conditions which result from an event. Further definitions

Try using this in a sentence today. Perhaps in a comment here.

More evidence ...

that americans are ... a bit stupid.

(as if we needed more of that)

(good god, that's a bit harsh, isn't it? Oh well. Chalk it up to a very bad mood)

(at least it doesn't really matter since it's now ... basically mathematically impossible for Billary to actually win the nomination)

(good god, what do they want--to ... give the man another chance to have sex with another person 30 years his junior in the same house where he sleeps with his wife?) (not that I care who anybody has consensual sex with. It's a private matter, and none of our *&@*! business) (yeah, right, whatever)

(Now com'on, that *really* not called for. I'm probably going to have to delete this whole post tomorrow when I look at it in the light of day)

(yeah yeah, sure you will. don't kid yourself)

"Shocking and deplorable"

At the top of headlines today: a story about a youtube video of a U.S. marine throwing a puppy over a cliff in Iraq. In a statement, the marine corps called the video "shocking and deploring" and said "We do not tolerate this type of behavior, and will take appropriate action" Apparently lots of American are kind of freaking out about the video, and the marine's name and address have been published. Comments on the web include: "I hope the Marine who did this dies over there" and "[He] should have been aborted."

Meanwhile, in the past 7 days, U.S. and U.K. forces have killed 5 civilians in Iraq, including a teenager and a mother and child. Any of that in the major media? I think not. Anybody freaking out about that? Hardly. Maybe it's not real unless it's on Youtube (there's actually an argument to be made about that).

Am I missing something?

My mother is dying

Feel free not to read. Kind of writing for my own therapy

This isn't exactly new news. 3 years ago, she was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. She nearly died in surgery to remove the big cancerous growth in her abdomen. Since then she's been through 3 rounds of different types of chemotherapy.

Recently her ca125 counts starting rising again--that was ... late last year. And they did an MRI and there was a new growth. And they were going through the plans to irradiate that. And in the middle of all that, about ... 4 weeks ago, her bowel got impacted, and the backwater (I know that's really harsh, but I live in Seattle, so there it is) M.D.'s at Monroe General hospital did surgery and ... unblocked her G.I. tract. And then during recovery, she got pneumonia. And then she got over the pneumonia, and started eating again. And then ... last week her bowel got impacted again (it means nothing is going through), and she came into a a real hospital here, and they put a tube down her throat, to drain off the stomach, and put her on IV nutrition, and decided to wait a few days to see if allowing the bowel to relax a little would allow things to start moving again.

Her oncologist says there's pretty much not a whole lot left to be done--this is what happens with ovarian cancer. They can't do any more chemo, because her immunity is too compromised. And they can't irradiate because there are two new growths. He said that there are 30 feet of small intestine all bunched up in the abdomen, and the cancer is like someone took a handful of oatmeal and threw it in there, and it attaches, and grows, and kinks the intestine, and then stuff can't get through.

And that even though now her bowel has opened up again, and ... stuff's going through again, sooner or later, and likely sooner, the cancer will cause it to become blocked again.

So my lovely mum arranged for me and Megs and our girlicans and my sister (my only sib) and all my mum's sibs (excepting one) and a couple close friends to come up to her hospital room on Monday. And when we were all there she gave this astoundingly beautiful speech. She told us about what was happening to her, and that her oncologist had said that this was the beginning of the end of her life, and that Megan and me and Kat had taught her that she should talk about things rather than pretending they weren't there, so she just wanted to talk about it, and encourage us to all talk about it with her and with each other. So I was kind of blown away by that.

And recently I learned three stories.

The zoo: When she was a little girl, my mother and her five siblings would go to the zoo. At Stoneham. Once or twice every summer, they'd all pile in the car with mom and dad and off to the zoo. And dad would feed his cigarettes to the goats, even though mom and sibs all begged him to stop. Which just struck me enormously funny. And she remembered the elephants--how big they were (to her little girl eyes). And the monkeys--they would stay in the monkey house and just watch the monkeys forever. And my Uncle Steve added that there was this box set up where you could stick your hand in, and the apes could stick their hand in, and you could just touch fingertips, and one time they gave the ape bubble gum through this setup, and watched him have rather a crazy time with it.


Steven: My mum's littlest sib is Steven, who is ten years younger. When he was little, she used to have to babysit him, from the roll of the eyes, it seemed it wasn't always exactly her favorite task (as I'm sure all older sibs who have to babysit often feel). And Steven wouldn't always go to sleep when he was meant to, and my mum was the one drafted to go up and sing songs to him. I thought that was rather a lovely picture. And wondered if my uncle Steve remembered it. I shall ask him. I've gotten the sense over the years that in some ways Steve has been and continues to be the sib that is closest to my mom. He's a real ... connector, I guess. Kind of the sense that one gets of youngest sibs in general--that they're ... harmonizers. Steve is a great storyteller.

The coal trucks: There was a big ... coal bin next to my mum's family's house growing up. They brought the coal there in trucks, and then it got distributed from there to all the houses for their furnaces, for heat in the winter. And she used to like to go out and race across the street before the truck left--a sort of race to see if she could ... get across before they ... hit her. That was the impression I got. My crazy crazy mum playing chicken with coal trucks. Awesome! I love it. Apparently her mom didn't think it that great an idea. She was ... 5 years old, I guess. And one day she wasn't maybe quite gonna make it, and got scared, and slipped, and hit her poor little head on the cement. And fortunately the truck driver stopped before hitting her. But the contact between my mom's head and the cement street was apparently rather hard, and she had to go to the hospital, where she remembers there were all sorts of things attached to her head for the purpose of making sure she was okay. And apparently people back then would be in bigger rooms with multiple people, rather than the double or single rooms I'm used to seeing in hospitals of today. My dad said when he was little only very wealthy people got private rooms in hospitals. He told me this in my mum's private hospital room. It made me realize how astoundingly wealthy we are. Astoundingly wealthy, compared to the nearly 3 billion people on the planet who function on $2/day or less.

Lynn Woods: There this big woods/nature reserve not too far from my mum's growing up house called Lynn Woods Reservation. They used to go up there, said my mum, and there was a cave, and they would pretend they were searching for gold--there were rumors gold had been found there once. And they'd go back in the cave as far as they dared, until they got too afraid. And there was a petting zoo, where you could buy grain for a nickel to feed to the goats.

My mum cried today for this reason: She said that she has been in this hospital bed, and feels like she hasn't been able to do anything for anyone. And I thought, and didn't say, "You can do something for me. Tell me stories. Stories and stories and stories. I come from you--Enstory me!"

And she cried for this reason: She said her sister (my aunt) Carol came and visited today, and asked her "Susan, are you still asking God for healing?" And she realized she hadn't been. She said it is *so hard*. I guess Dan Allender would say "hard to hope". I felt really angry and cut at that. Angry that anyone should demand my mother to hope. And angrier because the demand kind of extends to me--some sort of demand to hope and engage with God. This is part of why I stopped being a Christian. I spent some ... two years forcing (in the end it was forcing) myself to engage hope and God, and getting furiouser and furiouser at God, in light of the fucked up state of the world. And then I gradually realized all that anger was just kind of too constantly on the boil, and it wasn't doing much for me, so I just disengaged. And after that, I kind of realized my old model of god wasn't really working for me, and so I chucked it, and in the absence of a new one that does work, I wasn't a Christian anymore. There it is.

credit where credit is due ...

So question. What if I work really hard, and smart, and work my way up the ladder, actually *creating* wealth, and end up making ... half a million dollars a year, say. Hypothetically. In the U.S. And I have to pay .... say, $300,000 of that in taxes to the federal government. And part of the $300,000 I pay goes to pay to build an Apache helicopter gunship (which, by the way, I used to think were extremely kewl, before I got mature enough to begin to understand the reality of exactly what they're built to do), which we then sell to Israel on the cheap, since by and large we Americans tend to like the Israelites so much. And then say the Israeli Defense Forces deploy that Apache gunship in Gaza, and use it to kill a little 11 and 12 year old brother and sister who are sleeping in their beds.

That was all the set up. Here's the question: Do I get to have any of the responsibility for the killing of the little sleeping siblings?

And if so, what can/shall I do about that?

One possible answer, from my POV, is ... never make enough money that I have to pay taxes.

But that's not very satisfying. It feels like a ... copout, somehow.

This made me smile

Although I'm guess it only really works if you're as versed in the Christian Scriptures, and specifically in the Authorized English translation, as I have the good fortune to be.

Come into the light, my brethren and sistren.

Especially working for me was this:

1:20 And the All Knowing Quantum Field of Intelligence did extraordinary miracles by the hands of Obama, so that handkerchiefs were carried away from his body to the worshippers, and spirits of cynicism came out of them and they were found dressed and in their left minds.

Hey--that's kind of what happened to me. The legion of cynicism spirits were driven out of me, and now here I am dressed (well, ... actually, um, never mind), and in my left mind. What's left of it, that is. =)

opposites

Byron asks, and attempts to answer, these three:

The opposite of faith is _______.
The opposite of hope is ________.
The opposite of love is _______.

Your thoughts?

Off the top of my head, I said:

Faith: modernity
Hope: death
Love: sexual abuse