I have a new nephew!

Isn't he gorgeous? His name is Zachary. Hooray!

the queen

My 3 year old daughter, Coco, climbed onto the tiny set of bleachers next to our little local baseball field a couple days ago, and she stood on the very top bench, and spread her little arms wide out, and spun around shouting "I'm the queen of the world. I'm the *whole* queen of the world!!"

photos

so I finally started getting all Megsies photos a bit organize. They're available here, if you wanna see photos of my family--there's lots of 'em, and I'm going to be uploading lots more over the next couple weeks.

=)

I invite you to read

and/or comment on my mother's current ongoing travelogue.

trouble!

Coco singing "Nobdoy knows the trouble I've seen"

some notes

Girlikin #1, angry at being told in no uncertain terms to lie down and go to sleep tonite, said to me "I'm ignoring you for the rest of my life!" (She's 5 years old). So I said to her "I'm going to put you on my blog." To which she replied "A video??". "No, just words--what you said just now". Afterwards we laughed rather uproariously as it become rather evident that she couldn't ignore me for even 2 minutes. Is this how god reacts to my (puny) anger--she wants to laugh with me, but I won't laugh, so she just laughs at me? I *can* ignore her for the rest of my life. If she even exists. (See how I'm *not* mentioning her in this blog post?)

My sincere apologies to those of you who find it offensive to refer to god using the female pronoun. I really am doing that on purpose. But thinking of god as female is scriptural. And anyway, doesn't "they" really work better, from the trinitarian perspective?

I used to have the idea in the back of my head that Rudy Gulliani wouldn't be all that bad as a president. But I recently read his 12 committments, and decided that actually, he would be rather bad. Worst was the first one: "I will keep America on offense in the Terrorists' War on us" As if we haven't already offended to a gargantuan enough extent? anyway, he half contradicts himself almost immidiately with #12 "I will expand America's involvement in the global economy and strengthen our reputation around the world. " so does he mean strengthen our reputation for being offensive? I think not. So what's up with that?

Second worst is #2 "I will end illegal immigration, secure our borders, and identify every non-citizen in our nation." Megan asked "What does that mean--identify me? Does that mean I'm some sort of threat or something?"

So much for Gilliani. Creepus.

timeout!

My brilliant father in law, David, sent this George Bush action figure as a gift home with my wife when she returned from Australia ealier this year. Our two daughters each have a specified time out spot in our home, and George's proper place has become Girl #2's time out spot, where she must move him aside when she has to have a time out. Our daughters can be heard telling him "George Dubya Bush--you've been a very naughty boy--stay in time out!" My poor mother recently informed my wife with some chagrin that Girl #1 had informed her that George Bush was Satan. You must understand that my parents have a greeting card on their wall with a picture of George and Barbara on the front and inside it says "Ben and Sue, thankyou for being charter members of the Washington State re-elect George Bush 2004 campaign! Signed, George Bush". I'm not joking.
We don't really use "George Bush is Satan" language around here--we don't tend to talk about Satan. So we were a bit curious where that came from. Later, in the car, Girl #1 spontaneously said "Satan whispered and told me to do it" in reference to unbuckling her seat belt while we were driving and being told off about it. We asked her "Who is Satan"? "Oh, he's our enemy--the bad enemy--Nana taught me about him" This led us to the conlusion that Nana must have been teaching the girls about Satan, and who he theoretically is, and Girl #1, upon learning the word/concept, automatically associated it with Goerge Bush. So in a sense, it's nana's own ... fault that Girl #1 told her "George Bush is Satan". Girl #1, like her mum and dad and sister, is very very very clever and perceptive!

Mother's Day Proclamation

This proclamation was written by Julia Ward Howe, who in 1870 sought formal recognition for a national Mother’s Day in the US. HT: Sharon

Mother’s Day Proclamation
by Julia Ward Howe

Arise then…women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
“We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace…
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Kat and Jim's wedding! Hooray!!

For those who don't know, my awesome sister Kat and her totally kewl husband Jim got married last Saturday, April 1. HT to Megan who took most of these photos.

My sister's getting married!

Generally speaking I hate weddings. In fact, the only weddings I've attended and not hated have been my own and a couple weddings performed by Dave Sellers.

Why do I hate them? I guess I'm just shocking awful at compartmentalizing, at least in one particular way. If something amazingly good and beautiful and delightful is happening, I tend to see it in the light of it's future death. Yes, all things die, and entropy grinds on, and I find it hardest to forget this when most other people find it easiest. I'm wierd that way--it's part of my makeup, somehow.

So I'm supposed to say something at my sis's reception today, and I have no idea what. ... Certainly not the above. It will come to me.

Found this photo today

from a while ago, with a very small girl number one peeking over my shoulder from her backpack perch.

Guest blogger--A different perspective on Iraq

So my uncle steve recently posted his thoughts on the war in Iraq, and he gave me permission to repost here with comments. So just to be very up front, I sort of largely disagree with most of what he says. The thing is, his views seem to me to represent: A. The views of some sizeable group of Americans. and B. The views of a rather large proportion of my mother's family, which makes up most of my extended family. So it would perhpas behoove me to react with curiosity and respect and gentleness. Following are excerpts from Steve's Blog

After listening to a couple of hours of debates in the US Congress tonight, I have formed some opinions about the ongoing war in Iraq.

#1. I don't believe we can cut & run in any way shape or form. There's too much evidence from history to show what will happen if we do. Al-Queda ready considers us weak, and for sure that is how we will be viewed in the eyes of every significant nation in the free world. With the dangers looming in Iran, N Korea, Venezuala, Syria, we can't afford to take a weak posture at this point.

It seems to me like the evidence goes the other way--I mean it seems to me that the lesson we apparently failed to learn in vietnam is that getting too involved in someone else's civil war is pointless and if/when we do so, our best bet is to realize our mistake as quickly as possible and extract ourselves ASAP--a kind of cutting one's losses. (Read more ...)

#2. We need a solid plan. I've heard that mostly from the Republicans, and I agree. The Democrats, for all their impassioned rhetoric about saving American lives, failed to provide any plan. The closest think I heard to a plan was at the end, when one of the Democrats said their plan would be to "put a fence around the funding" (for the war). Great plan, right.

I kind of agree with you about the democrats lacking a solid plan. I would love to hear the democrats saying "Here's our plan--we need to get our soldiers out of Iraq, ASAP, and the way we are going to make sure that happens is we are going to radically cut military expenditures."

#3. I don't think sending in additional troops is going to make a difference in the long run either. (Perhaps now you're wondering what political party I belong to? Read on). It seems evident that, especially with proven Iranian involvement (and this from the liberal media that has come out so vocally against the war), that this thing is going to get bigger & bloodier as time goes on. I think I heard a quote from one of the soldiers, stating something to the effect that whenever they get one area cleaned up, someone wants to kill them in some other area they are going into.

Again, I sort of agree with you. It seems to me that the whole thing is just going to continue to be bloody and a mess, and our best bet to remedy that situation is to *deescalate*, which is to say, to start bringing troops home immediately.

So where am I going? What is my solution? Here's my take, take it or leave it.

This is not a "winnable" war in the sense that our enemys will one day surrender & a truce will be signed. Nor is it a war we can retreat from. That would be nationalistic suicide. No, this war is unlike any other war, because the enemy is not who we think they are.

Are you still with me?

What we are fighting here has been definied as a clash of "civilizations", "ideologies", "doctrines", "religions". Pick your buzz word. This aspect of the war doesn't get talked about enough in the mainstream media, but I believe it is at the crux of the solution in Iraq. Sadly, I don't think it will ever be taken seriously, while men and governments continue to up the ante' - more funding, more money, more soldiers on the one hand, more suicide bombers, more IEDs, more kidnappings, terrorism, US & British Media Exploitation on the other. The stakes get higher and higher.

What if people all around the world started praying hard, very hard, for a solution? And what if they prayed to the God that created this world? What if people started really digging into the book of Revelation, Daniel, and other end-time prophecy books. What if we looked at it through the eyes of Jesus, as he gave his discourse to the apostles in Matthew 24? What if we took seriously news stories like the one out of Florida recently in which a man claimed to be Jesus Christ himself? What if we looked at what's happening in Jerusalem & the Temple Mount & started comparing it to what is written in scripture? Could we make some connections? Are we getting close to some HUGE event in World History? I would say so. And in fact, I think it's knocking right at our door this very hour.

I don't think the war in Iraq is going to end in a way either Democrats or Republicans think it could. Things will escalate. This is just the beginning of something much bigger. So what's my point? Where's my plan?

Pray baby, pray hard. Pray for the eyes & ears of the nations to open to the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Pray that our leaders will get down on their knees and start making decisions based on wisdom from God. Pray that America, once a mighty Christian Nation, get back to her roots, and mostly pray for God's grace. I love my country, and for sure we are the most blessed country in the world, but we are also the most vile and decadant country in the world (yes, I said those both in one breath). Lots of people look at the Muslim religion as a religion of hate that breeds more hatred & violence. Can we get our eyes off the religion & start looking at what's behind the religion? Some Muslims look at America as the land of immorality, weakness, decadence - a nation filled with vileness. A land in which freedom has lost it's moral compass. We are the strongest military force in the world, yet we can't contain a miniscule country like Iraq (remember, the battle is the Lords). There are many lessons from the Bible we could learn from that will help us understand why, if our leaders would just listen.

So while the debate goes on all around us about what to do in Iraq, how to make our nation more secure, how to stop the terrorists before they stop us - I have one solution, and it's not my solution at all. It was written several thousand years ago, and it is still applicable today. Praise be to God. Here it is:

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, & pray, & seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and forgive their sin, and HEAL THEIR LAND" (2 Chron 7:14).

It sounds like you are saying that you think its possible to map the book of Revelation onto current world events and make appropriate decisions based on that mapping. Is that what you are saying?

It also sounds like you identify very strongly *both* with being American and with being Christian, and that indeed you see the two identities as being very strongly interconnected. Am I getting that right? Do you find this consistent with the way that Jesus interacted with nationhood and kingdomhood in the Bible stories? It seems to me that Jesus and the early church saw their being part of "The Way" as ... antithetical to their strongly identifying with/being loyal/committed to to a particular nation or kindgom or empire or people.

Do you think it's at all accurate to think of or look at the current Unites States as an empire? You kind of reference this when you talk about "the strongest military in the world not being able to contain a miniscule country like Iraq". This statement very much seems to be grounded in an imperialistic paradigm.

R.I.P. Reggie

I recently learned that my lovely sister Kat's beautiful and highly intelligent horse, Reggie, died unexpectedly this past week. I didn't know Reggie very well, but I appreciated the way he helped take such good care of Kat for a number of years, and I know she will miss him greatly. Katness--I'm sorry for your loss. I hope Reggie is enjoying far greener pastures and that someday you two will meet again

Influenza

From the Italian influenza or "influences"--originally thought to be the result of bad astrological influences, and later called influenza di freddo or "influence of the cold" It's at least 2400 years old, and it's most infamous iteration was "The Spanish Lady", which killed 50 to 100 million people world wide in 1918-1919, and was recently reconstructed by (completely off their rockers) scientists right here in Seattle in a Biosafety Level 3 Lab. Doesn't that make you feel safe, that they were reconstructing it in a biosafety level 3 lab? I feel totally okay about, considering the amazing record of the scientific community at large to keep us all safe.
Anyway, I digress. The virus is 80 to 120 nanometers in diamter (a nanometer is 10^-9 meters-very very tiny). That's still bigger than the (correct me if I'm wrong here you technological ones) the size of transistors currently being (printed, etched, ....put) on integrated circuits (microprocessors), which will be moving downward in size to a mere 45 nanometers later this year. I'm pretty sure this size is actually impossible to get one's head around. I mean you can't *see* it, so how do you visualize? It's all happening *way* down there on the size scale.
So anyway, I'm pretty sure Megan and Eowyn and Coco all have influenza. Wiki says "common symptoms of influenza infection are fever, nausea, vomiting, sore throat, muscle pains, severe headache, coughing, and weakness and fatigue" My poor three girls have had and continue to have, between the three of them, every single one of these symptoms. I, on the other hand, have only felt mildly yucky. I think I might have gotten some milder iteration earlier in the winter and so my immune response this time was quicker.
If you pray, please pray for Megan and girl number one and girl number two (who just turned 3, bless her!). It's been 10 whole days now with these nastly little horrors replicating in their cells, and it hasn't been fun for them. Thankyou.

happy!

happy happy joy joy. =).

32 hours

32 hours 'til I see my loved ones.


This painting by Joel Pelletier, entitled "American Fundamentalists, (Christ's entry into Washington in 2008)" caught my eye today. Click on it to see a bigger version. It's from here. Your reaction?

New nephew

I have a beautiful new nephew. Stokish! Sebastian Ardley Jones is his name. Congratualtions, Tom, Anite, and Eddie!

The anti should campaign

What would it look like if everyone stopped using the words "should", "ought", "behoove", and related words which express the same thing? Megan and I undertook this experiment early in our marriage, and have both found it enormously helpful. For me, most of all, my tendency is to use these words on myself, and I call it "shoulding on myself". Since my self concept is so overwhelmingly negative anyway, I find that just cutting out these words actually helps me move in the direction of experiencing the accepting of myself. As my sponsor says "It is what it is", or "I am what I am". But other people regularly attempt to use these words on me as well. If I didn't have this little campaign going, I think I would miss it a lot of times, and just instantly internalize what they were saying. Instead, it has become my habit to instantly reject it. So for instance I was talking to my very lovely and lovable Nana this last week, and telling her how down I have been, and how I have such a depressive personality. She said, quite naturally,

Nana: "You need to work on that and get over it"

Benjamin: (in my head) "Aha, she said 'need to'. That's a 'should' word! Danger! Danger! Danger!."

Benjamin: (out loud). "Well, actually, Nana, I've kind of come to accept myself as being this way. I think God just made some people with melancholic personalities, and I'm okay with that. It actually feels relatively comfortable being me."

(did you catch that whole "in my head" versus "out loud" thing? Pretty kewl, huh? 10 years ago I was utterly incapable of such amazing sophistication (hehe). Here's to crawling and creeping toward maturity.)

My lovely Nana was rather accepting of this take on things, and just said something like "Oh. Ok."

Marriage

Have increasingly come to realize over the last week or so that being married to Megan mega rocks, and ... being single, back in the day, pretty much sucked. One of the worst things about being single, which I never realized when I was single, is that variable length time period between climbing into bed with the lights out intending to fall asleep and actually falling asleep. When one is single, one is somehow utterly and enormously alone during that time period.

My year round wish list

My list of all the things I want during this season of the feast of the incarnation, and anytime.

1. I want to never again do any of the things after the doing of which I hate myself.
2. I want my granddad to be prosecuted for his crimes, and I want all my aunts, uncles, mum, and my nana to be emotionally healthy enough to testify against him in court.
3. I want my mum to be cured of cancer. Permanently.
4. I want God to come to me in a dream, like he did with Solomon, and say "okay, what do you want me to do for you?" and I want my answer to be something a good deal better than "How about a new porsche?". (and, by the way, also better than solomon's stupid ass answer)
5. I want my dad to be cured of heart disease, diabetes, chronic pain, and ... food addiction.
6. I want a fucking vaccine for malaria, and I want to see it made available to everyone who needs it.
7. I want Jeffrey Sachs to agree to be drafted to run for president of the United States.
8. I want the other 791 people on the list of the world's billionaires to follow the example of the first two people on this list, Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, and use their (obviously) high intelligence levels to figure out how to best give away enormous chunks of their wealth.


What's on your wish list?