Healed!?

In an email to members of his former church, Ted Haggard announced this last week that, after three weeks of "intense spiritual conselling", he is convinced he is "completely heterosexual."

Randy Thomas, vice president of the United States' largest ex-gay group, Exodus international (and can I just say that is a bummer of a name for someone in that position? But only people who speak British or Aussie English know that, so it's not as bad as it could be, I guess), said

"Sexuality is very complex. So, for many people, depending on what issues they deal with … it could be months, it could be years," said Thomas. "So for someone to claim complete healing … I find that remarkable."

I found this fascinating. What does it mean? Here are some of my ideas about what Ted might have meant:

1."I intend to never have homosexual sex again"
2."I intend to never have homosexual lustful thoughts again"
3."I think it's important for the cause of New Life Center and the National Association of Evangelicals that I say this"
4."I think it's important for my wife and kids that I say this"

I'd love some clarification. Anyone have any idea what he meant? What do you think?

thought for the day

Addiction sucks worse than
(The Crimson King + Sauron)^infinity.

your most terrifying moment...

Saint Louis, Missouri

So I have been having a lengthy conversation with Luke (from St. Louis) over here. We started out in some sort of debate about theology (at least that is how it seemed to me) which occurred because I rather don't like Dietrich Bonhoffer, and Luke rather does. I started to feel my attention drifting (as is bound to happen with me when theology becomes too much the subject of a conversation). Wanting to refocus, I thought "I know, I'll ask a question the answer to which is sure to interest me." So off the top of my head I asked "What is the most terrifying moment you ever experienced?" I was hoping to be spellbound--enchanted--something which Christine Wicker says we all have a huge desire for in her newish book "Not in Kansas Anymore". And then I thought--hmmm--what's my answer?

The most terrrified I can ever remember being was a 2 day period a little before Megan and I were wed on Nov 25, 2000. I awoke one morning--awoke quite suddenly--with the feeling of a ton of bricks piled directly atop my chest and the voice of god in my head. He was saying "Benjamin--guess what? I am going to require you to tell megan all your scariest darkest most horrible secrets before you get married." this is the only time in my life when god has ever spoken to me in such a commanding way--it wasn't as if he were giving me any choice--it was just that I had to do it, period. And I knew exactly what horrible secrets he was talking about. And I knew that telling them to Megan would hurt her mega enormously. I was completely terrified more than I ever had been. It wasn't that I was afraid she would hate me or not want to to marry me or stuff like that (although that came into it). It was just the horrifying fact that I would be hurting her so. In fact, I was so terrified that I made an appointment with a cousellor to talk with them before I talked to Megan. As it turned out, my fear was well founded. And yet, I am gigaprofoundly grateful that god made me do that, because it somehow helped create the space for our marriage to be and become the astonishingly beautiful/delightful thing that it is. god is very good to me (sometimes...)

So what is your most terrifying moment?