what does it mean to "die for your country"?

My dad served 2 tours of duty in the vietnam war. At age 18 he tore up his draft notice for the U.S. Army and went down to talk to the Air Force recruiter. He's definitely a man with a high practical intelligence, and he was, I think, considering attrition rate comparisons between the services. He went on to work for the U.S. air force for twenty years, retiring in 1987. After a big argument on mother's day, he called and left a message on my cell phone in which he said in a tone of great sorrow and sincere regret "Son, I'm sorry that you are ashamed of me because of my service in the U.S. military."

That was wrenching to hear. The last thing I want to communicate to my dad is that I'm ashamed of him. He's a great guy, and from my current 32 year old frame of reference, I can see that he did worse than some but better than most in his role as a father.

The memorial day holiday tomorrow has really set me to thinking this year. In years past, I've pretty much ingnored the holiday. I asked a barista today while she was preparing my (fair trade) coffee "What is Memorial Day about anyway?". She replied "ummm, I dunno--something about the military?" The two older people behind me in line looked chagrined and charged "Aha--a product of Seattle Public Schools!". My friend Julie, who preached earlier today about Pentecost, said that older members of her church wished she had mentioned or preached on memorial day. Is it a generational thing?

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All this had led me to this question: Has the meaning of "Die for America" changed over the years? Has it become less significant, or more significant? Has the meaning of "America" changed? Memorial Day finds it's roots in both the North and the South in the American Civil War taking time in May to remember the War Dead. It became a national holiday much later, after World War II, as a nation chose to remember it's staggering losses in that enormous conflict.

The soldiers in the american civil war were fighting, I guess, for preserving the union, or a way of life, or freedom, or at some level against slavery. The soldiers in World War II were fighting against Hitler and his allies, or against the genocide of Jews, or against Japan. Was it about self preservation? Preservation of an idea, or an ideal? What did the 3500 U.S. soldiers who have died in Iraq die for?

I can't get my head around how and why the deaths of U.S. soldiers are more to be remembered than the deaths of civilians, or of opposing soldiers. Maybe I've just too far and altogether lost my sense of nationality, of specific place and group. A lower estimate of civilian deaths in Iraq is 70,000. Did you know that, in some strange and powerful way connected with our own Vietnam War Memorial, there are memorials throughout vietnam honoring those who died to conquer the invasive occupying Americans? On this memorial day, as our nation pauses to consider the memory and meaning of the lives and deaths of american soldiers, who will remember the names of at least 70,000 innocent iraqi civilians who have died since we invaded?

Whom shall I honor tomorrow? As an human being who is increasingly attracted and committed to the idea of non violence, I want to remember those who are heroes of non violence who have lived or died in their quest for peace--people who believed that you can't fight death and tyranny by killing people--people who believed that the only way to end war and violence and hatred and increase security was to promote forgiveness and kindness and non-violent justice for the poor and those with no voice and little power and love for one’s enemies. Names that spring to mind are Ghandi, and King, Rachel Corrie, and Christian Peacemaker Teams. Who will you be honoring tomorrow?