Lost in translation

So just out of curiosity, the other day after I posted the narrative essay I wrote for my Spanish class, I fed it to google's machine translator, just to see what would happen. What follows is what happened. It struck me quite funny. So I mailed it off to my spanish profesor, who said she almost choked on her sandwich cause she found it so funny. Let this be a warning: Don't *ever* trust machine translators--at least not free ones! Maybe in another 20 years they'll be better at it. My prof says she's going to use it show the students in her 100 level classes what it looks like when they (the cheaters) write essays in English and then translate to Spanish with free web based translators, and then turn in the machine translated version without (apparently) even reading it, much less massaging it into workable spanish =)

Here it is:

I want to write a history how we knew ourselves and we fell in love I and my esposita Megan. How attack of a boat like engineer worked, totally (then, more or less totally) it cheers, without a preoccupation in the world. A day, arrived at the boat a group of new workers, including a girl, discharge, blonde, and very pretty. But it did not notice anything. In fact, as a child I made an oath that never went to marry to me, and until that hour, at least never I had a amiguita, a fiancèe. Then, a day, I entered the pequeñita library of the boat, and found to two girls reclining in the ground, reading. One of them was this girl, the blonde and discharge. I said "Hello. You must be the new ones. I am called Youngest child. And you-like they are called". That was the beginning of the aim of my oath. About that time, it did not think that nothing important happened ( but you watch - who still it memory). Single I spoke with them minutitos and I was myself. I did not remember the meeting nor concerned much to me. As much later, we remembered that meeting like ours first. Later (like memory), the second time when we spoke was when we and some others prepared behind schedule during for a celebration and an international-a celebration spectacle to that two thousand people came more or less in the twilight. We only spoke while we worked, about our countries, families, the government, etc. etc. I think that it was that time when I began to fall in love with her. But still I did not understand that that was what happened. In fact, I did not know, consciously, that it enamored to me with her until much more behind schedule - did… four months, more or less. It was in Accra, in Ghana, when finally I realized that. Meanwhile, she knew from almost that night of the spectacle. (I think that this, that she knew and I no, I was because the men suffer damage of brain in uterus, but the girls no, and for that reason men are as much stupid emotionally, in resistance to the women. But that is another history.) We were in Accra, and a shepherd, call John Ramey, did not invite to go to a restaurant with some others. He knew that it wanted to me, because she had trusted him. Also, I think, he knew that I fell in love with her although no longer i myself knew to it. That night, during the supper, he gave to us with many romantic histories of all his years like a shepherd. Finally it, somehow, fixed it so that Megan and I walked from the restaurant to the boat (where we lived) more or less together solamentes. A very strange thing happened. We were walking and my hand, seemed by its own will, moved to take the hand from her. When I noticed that this happened, I very was surprised. I thought " Mano mine, what you do your? Please mantenerte in your own place" This spent two or three times while we walked, and finally I began to occur to account of something very great-something that was, to me, very rare. After that night, we have more been and inseparados. Months I take more, we were enamored totally during the spring in Italy. And soon after that, I requested it that she married to me underneath million stars sailing in the Mediterranean, about the Lambda-type islands. Then we married in a beach in Australia, and now we lived happy and we eat perdices.