Monday, June 02, 2008


cancer. I'm ... *experiencing* (at one level) exactly why it is *so* astoundingly evil to compare humans to a disease with statements like "________ is a cancer", where you fill in the blank with the people group or belief system with which you disagree.

According to this passage (and this one, among others), the god of abraham, isaac and jacob had (has?) the ability to see people groups in this light. Does this make him evil? Beyond that--if it's so relatively easy for him to wipe out people groups like they were a cancer, why can't he wipe out cancer itself? It turns out that Yahweh isn't really all that much more powerful than any of the other gods--they all lack the ability to fix the really frakked shit in the universe.

This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through, I'm pretty sure (although I don't have the current live experience of all the other hard things to actually compare it to--only my memories of them, and memory is notoriously unreliable.).

You know how children can regress under a lot of stress? Like ... for instance, a toddler who is night potty trained can revert to nighttime incontinence after a big stressor like moving houses.

I find myself doing that--reverting to ... wanting to frame the world from my previous Christian/Bible etc. perspective. Of course it works about as well now as it it did during my deconversion. But there it is.

1 comment:

Justin said...

If I had the money, I would buy two 'plane tickets:

One for you to fly from Seattle to Hawaii, and one for Byron Smith to fly from Sydney to Hawaii.

There are so many reasons why Byron can speak to your situation and to your soul: He believes that the hope of Resurrection speaks into the realities of this world in a way that is both hopeful and painful.

And more... he has experienced some of the same pains too.

I wish I could...