Monday, November 20, 2006

god i hate

las vegas.

In this city more blatantly, somehow, than anywhere else, there exists the dichotomy between our rich, ritzy, showy, lit up, clean, perfect, beautiful, glorious, happy, well fed, .... facade; and our poor, filthy, ugly, shredded, despicable, helpless, ... brokenness. It wears on one, perhaps especially one like me, and I sense glimmers of the possibility of me coming to like, and to want more of, and to believe in, the facade. I hate that the worst. it's like the anti-me, coming to gobble me up.

And for you people out there who thing my blog is just too depressing (you know who you are) I found this (I think) pretty freaking gnarly animation of a radial engine from wikipedia (try not to stare at it too long--it has similar powers to Kaa (about whom Kipling writes thusly: "He is very old and very cunning. Above all, he is always hungry," said Baloo hopefully. "Promise him many goats. All this in the story which tells of his powers, Kaa's Hunting, which you can read *now* by clicking on the name, which will take you to that page of the etext from project gutenberg.))



me said...

OK, so my hair dressers greatest dream (outside meeting jonny depp - a dream we connect over, and which helps to provide a conversation diversion for the moments when we both realise she has had a shocker with the 'haridressing' side of things), is to go to los vegas. i will let her down slowly.
THIis indigo girls line seems to be relevant for everyone at the mo:
"all the shiney trinkets of temptation, something new instead of something old, all you have to do is scratch beneath the surface and its fools gold ..."
power of 2 ... keep fighting! R

me said...

ok pressed send too quickly: hairdressing, las vegas, this ...
thanks for sharing your thoughts benjamin.

Benjamin Ady said...

i so relate to the attractiveness of ... the red pill* in matrix! denial, pretending things are ok when they're not, believing i should be enjoying wealth and luxury when millions live in poverty.

*I may have my pills mixed up here! It's been too long since I watched matrix

Rhea, I love your Indigo Girls quote (along with love ... "stronger than the monster beneath your bed"!)

(by the way, this is megs, even though it says it's bens!)

Benjamin Ady said...

Megsie--I wiki'd it ("verbing wierds language!) and as it turns out (since I couldn't remember either!), you are talking about the *blue* pill of denial. See redpill